Posted by Deb (207.218.158.8) on July 30, 1999 at 01:28:22:
Hi, Well i guess im just gonna jump in here and let my feelings go.
I don't have anyone that I really talk to about what these cycles
do to me as a supporter.You see we have a small business,
and also 3 employees. The last 5 months I have taken on alot
more work. The saying " don't kill the messenger" always plays in my mind.
employess need answers only Rich can give them Rich mad cuz I'm
asking these questions. But shit these things have to be done. Ive been
giving the best answers I can and sometimes they have been wrong. So they get
mad at me.. Shit I have been trying to do the best that I can..The Kids have been
off for summer break.. I haven't been able to do all the things that I wanted to do with them.
They go back to school on Aug 4th..I feel that I didn't give them a very good summer vacation.
I haven't been taking good care of the house..cloths are piles up..floor needs mopping.
grass needs to be mowed..shit ..this list just gets longer..I don't like to let rich know how Im feeling
he has to much to bear himself. I've been a supporter for 14 yrs not just
the Ch's but for other family problems too. I am worn out. I just don't feel that other members of the family
really realize how very hard this has been for me..I have always been there to help and take care of them..
but at this point I simply can't.. Why is it so hard for them to understand.. I don't feel like talking
I dont want to listen to your problems... I've been there and done that 100 times over..
It would be nice to have someone come and say" What can I do just for YOU"!!!!!
I know this cycle has been hard on Rich and I DO NOT mean to take anything from
him but this has been hard on me too.. Why do others feel that the suffer is the only
going through this?This cycle has taken an emotional, physical and mental toll on me..
Rich knows some of what im going through..and figures when the
cycles over our lives will be back on track..
I guess Im looking for words of encouragement..I feel as though Im
failing everyone who looks to me for support.
I pray tomorrow will be a better day.
Thanks for listening to me.
Painfree and Peaceful days.
Debbie :)