Posted by Rob Heckemann on June 01, 1999 at 06:40:56:
Hi all,
There are a couple of things I noticed lately that I would like to tell.
Had a discussion with my wife tonight about my CH. She said they never really disappear, when I think I'm in remission they still are there. She can tell by the standard things, like the eyelid, runny nose etc. I only think I have a nasty one-sided headache. Since she has seen the 1 to 10 scale, she said I have CH all the time but not worse then a 1, max 2 on that scale. Often after drinking alcohol or after very stressy situations. I think I just don't want to know and she's not gonna tell me I have a CH, just to avoid me worrying that they might come back bigtime. This scared the hell out of me. When in remission i DO have what I consider a normal share of "normal" headaches, now I'm told I'm chronic with extreme periods. Using the scale, almost all my attacks in extreme periods are over 8, and in the worst times I have 6 to 8 a day for weeks, so not treated only short periods without pain. Just don't recognise (or want to recognise) a mild attack? Can I fool myself like that? Some build-in feature to avoid facts? I have to think this over. Was planning on reducing my meds end of this week to see what happenes but am reconsidering.
Another thing, same conversation tonight: I DO react to stress situations! Also something I never (wanted to) realise, since I think of myself as the stainless steel no-stress / no-problem / will-do-that kinda manager. As stated above, stress DOES trigger me, even when in (what I used to consider as) remission. Often not directly, but after some hours, a day, wham, headache, and always one-sided! I read in reactions on Linda B's post that there are more people who think they trigger on stress. Worries me a lot.
What actualy worries me the most is that I obviously think of myselve with a different perception then my wife. Funny feeling, makes me a 'bit unsure. Hmmm. Probably need more conversations like this with my wife!
Just needed to get this of my chest. Any comments on the chronic/not chronic thought and the stress thing are most welcome.
Wishing you all painfree days! Rob.