Posted by Julie on July 08, 1998 at 11:16:37:
In Reply to: Re: Fear,anxiety,and desperation posted by Brian W on July 05, 1998 at 18:17:36:
I can't tell you guys how great it is to finally have
someone who understands. I began to think that I
was crazy for worrying about the fear, and desperation
that takes hold during a bout. I am a technology
executive with 3active teens; all active in sports.
How do you explain, for the umpteenth time that you
can't drive to practice, watch the hockey game, etc?
They try to understand, but I also know feel that during
cluster times I'm a burden; rather than a parent.
Desperate for an end to the pain, you consider the
weirdest things (ie suicide) even if only an instant.
I know the feelings pass, I'm not a suicidal person - but go
ahead and try to explain to a DR. the emotional toll
that this disorder has on your life!!! In addition,
although Oxygen and prednisone do help, my clusters
last from 2 hrs to 12 or 18 hrs - not over in minutes.
During long, acute headaches only relief has been
narcotics (injections, suppositories if nausea is
present, or tablets). There is an automatic stigma
in society, emergency rooms, and doctors offices
associated with these meds; ie - you can't be a
headache sufferer - you must be a drug addict.
So add to the emotional baggage already there the
spectre of tryingto explain that you just hurt, and
please,please,please make it STOP!!!!! *** it's no
wonder I have a headache. Am currently in the midst
of cluster period. Had 2 month break a couple
of months ago with increased lithium dosage; and
breaks of a week or 2 between bouts since. Youngest
son (11 yrs old) is pitching in the state semi-finals
for Little League tonight - and I'm crying as I
write this. Do I miss out again??? Thanks for
listening.
Julie