Posted by Todd (65.187.231.105) on January 09, 2002 at 21:16:00:
In Reply to: a bad day... posted by Elizabeth on January 09, 2002 at 16:34:39:
my Dad went to the hospital, on advice of his oncologist, as he was having trouble breathing.
Tests showed that the chemo has done nothing to reduce the tumor that's taken over 2/3 of his lung. They admitted him and decided to keep him overnight, as his bp had soared through the roof. Was supposed to release him Monday morning.
He finally went home today, after 3 radiation treatments (they cancelled the chemo due to ineffectiveness) plus a last minute ultrasound to try to figure out why his arm is swollen. No blood clot, thankfully, but no answer either.
Liz, this isn't a "my dad's worse off than your's" post, but rather a long-winded way of explaining I understand.
Thinking back, I've realized that I've known, and been around, my Dad literally all my life. Only two other people I can say that about - Mom and my older brother. I've kinda gotten used to them. I called dad only a few days before he went into the hospital, because I needed some quick advice on tiling, and my Dad has pretty much done it all when it comes to home improvement stuff. I've got a long way to go to finish fixing up my house, so I need that advice.
Selfish? Yup. But only partly. Dad loves giving advice. He likes knowing he can contribute and help his kids, even if we all are adults. He's a born Dad and excels in the role.
So while I selfishly want him around to help me out, I also want him well because helping fulfills him, emotionally.
If I could trade places and take his cancer, and whatever outcome eventually results from it, I'd do it in a heartbeat. And the world would be better off for it.
But he'd never let me.
That's the love of a parent.
I'm sure your Dad would and has told you the same I know my Dad is thinking....don't let this drag you down. Know he's fighting and doing everything he can, and the outcome is in fate, or a supreme being's, hands. In the meantime, keep a positive thought, pray if that is your prediliction, but go on with your life.
It's what your Dad wants.
KTSSU,
T