Posted by Becka (152.163.195.203) on March 22, 2001 at 10:17:06:
Hi, it's me again. I'm trying to be strong for myself and for my family, but it's becoming more and more difficult. I find that the thought of death is present at all times. It maybe wrong to say but i do wish for the day when it all ends, whether it's from me or something else.
I've been going around and around with these damn doctors. It seems as though they know that your in pain but they don't truely know how much pain there really is. Been haveing a hard time getting them to see that.
To all of the clusterheads, although it's not easy try to continue hanging in there. I'm not making anyone any promises but i will do my best to stay alive.
That's all for now, I feel like bashing my brains out. My head is throbing and has been for nearly a month straight. I have a b-day coming up on Sunday the 25th, I pray that the demons have left me by then but it's not looking very hopeful.
Anything that I can try that I may not have tried yet please let me know...........EXHAUSTED FROM THE PAIN!!!!!!!