Posted by tear (196.3.74.235) on August 01, 2000 at 22:40:10:
I won't post much - since this is his home. Thanks to all of you, who unfortunately have to share his pain; for being there for him. I wish you well.
Tear
Its going on for months now - there is no light in the tunnel. Day in day out he is in pain. I look at him and it turns my intesticles inside out. There is nothing I can do to ease this pain. That isn't female we are programed to help, to smooth, to make the darkness fade away... not with this crab. Over the years, each episode seems to last longer - or to be precise they don't really seem to end ... Is it one or another already I can't say. There seems to be the constant question: is it shadows or normal person headaches. I love him from the toe to split ends of hair but lately there is a but. My tears my sadness is nothing compared to his pain - which I understand. I do not want to let something good going down the drain - how do others deal with this? Sometimes there is a lot of anger, of the room the pain takes and of him being so far away for me = the guilt follows right away, I am not supposed to think about my own little self in the face of this paramount of suffering... I already feel guilty for posting this here. It has been a long stretch and I guess I just have a bad day.
Cheers to all, and thanks
Tear