Posted by andy b. (152.163.201.74) on July 17, 2000 at 18:01:28:
In Reply to: Oxycontin posted by glenn on August 16, 1999 at 11:57:54:
I read oxycontin related boards all the time because I am afraid..
_first of all started with back pain,severe, 5mg. percocet were fine and gave me a little high, did not really enjoy the high because I was afraid but did not mind it either.
Then percocet wasnot enough, maybe six months later so the DR. started with the 20mg.oxycontin, about 80 mg. a day twice 2 20mg, I never really noticed when the pain got tolerable or if it ever did, now I take maybe 120mg a day of oxycontin,,,I try to break up the pills and time myself in order to take as little as possible,,some days it works and other it doesn't,,,I also take 1-2 percocets aday for breakthrough pain,,I don't think this makes any difference...I know in my mind it does.
Now the pain from not taking the oxycodone i.e. from 7p.m. until 6 a.m. I used to not take anything..but the pain in the morning from my bones that seem so fragil and everything else
hurts. To make this short it is funny and hard to explain but THE ONLY PAIN NOW IS THE PAIN FROM THE WITHDRAWALS FOR NOT TAKING IT FOR SEVERAL HOURS, AND THE CRAMPS AND THE DIARRHEA. NEVERMIND THE ORIGINAL BACK PAIN THIS IS WORSE WITH THE ADDED SIDEEFFECT OF THE FACT THAT I AM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND OF THE DRUG AND FROM SEIZURE'S IF I QUIT AND THE STORIES I READ.I WISH I WOULD HAVE NEVER STARTED TAKING IT,,FORGET THE BACKPAIN ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN BEING SLAVE OF THE BOTTLE, AND THE WORSE THING IS THE PAIN IN YOUR MIND FROM THE IMAGINARY HELL YOU WOULD GO TO IF YOU RAN OUT OF MEDSOR IF YOU QUIT COLD-TURKEY.I KNOW I AM NOT MAKING TOO MUCH SENSE, BUT IT IS CONFUSING TO TAKE THE MEDS, ONLY TO RELIEVE THE PAIN ASSOCIATED FROM NOT TAKING IT, TALK ABOUT A VICIOUS CIRCLE!!I READ OF PEOPLE TAKING 320MG, 500MG, A DAT,,,BALONEY, NOONE CAN TAKE THAT...UNLESS YOU ARE AN ADDICT YOUR MIND WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THAT MUCH WITHOUT BEING SCARED ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES!IF ANYONE SHARES THIS PLEASE WRITE,,OH. MY MOOD IS TERRIBLE NOW I HAVE TO WORK HARD TO CONTROL MY TEMPER WITH MY FAMILY THEY PROBABLY DON'T SUSPECT A THING,,MAYBE IF I TAKE SOMETHING TO RID ME OF THE GUILT FROM TAKING OXYCONTIN I DON'T KNOW,,BUT THERE HAS TO BE AN NASWER,,THIS IS CONFUSING I HAVE LOST THE HAPPINESS OF LIVING, AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE GUILT, NOTHING MAKES ME SMILE,,SOMEBODY SAID I WASNOT TAKING ENOUGH,,MAYBE BUT MY MIND WILL NOT LET ME ANYMORE, I WANT TO QUIT AND ENDURE WHATEVER PAIN I HAVE IN MY BACK,,BUT I AM SCARED TO DIE IN THE PROCESS,,,AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS SO GUILTY..AND IT IS NOT LIKE I HAVE ONLY THE NECESSARY MEDS TIL THE NEXT PRESCRIPTION I HAVE ,ORE BUT CAN NOT MAKE MYSELF TAKE THEM..ANY COMMENTS WILL BE