Posted by Tracy (195.147.227.141) on June 22, 2000 at 15:58:24:
In Reply to: life-the interactive play posted by August on June 22, 2000 at 11:25:50:
it is amazing August I agree.
I have to say that one person's tough love is another person's bullying. But then that's the view people take.
Everything in life is open to interpretation. But I have to say it's how the recipient takes the advice, that's given with love, and deals with it. When Margi gave me some "tough love" a few months ago, I didn't demand for her to be villified and attacked. The help, support and assistance she'd given to others to be called self righteous and a "sentiment for the day". Why? because I UNDERSTOOD what the lady was trying to tell me. I am STILL so grateful for the kick in the pants she gave me. Yeah, I still stumble, but thanks to her I haven't fallen right over again.
Look, I meant what I said to Carl with the best intentions. At the end of the day, the same old platitudes can mean just as much damage as someone offering "tough love". I mean, if I was in a very dark place (and I can be, I too suffer from depression) and threatening suicide. If people just kept telling me, to "oh yeah, hang there. It's all going to be okay". I might feel that I was just being fobbed off. That they were just as fed up as the people who were saying "look, we're here for you. But you have to help us help you." Yeah I might get angry at the those tough words to start with, but once I saw BEHIND them to the friendship that sent them. I could maybe start to see them in a different light.
However, despite what I said to Cyndi I now feel that Carl is a person best left to those, like you August, that know how to offer him the right advice and support. As much as I feel Carl is my friend as much as anyone else's, I will NOT be posting to him ever again.
I hope you're feeling okay August. But I have to say, that even when we don't agree I admire your eloquence.
Take care and God bless,
Tracy