Posted by Cranpain (152.163.204.204) on March 14, 2000 at 21:24:01:
I can hardly remember not having clusters. They have changed my entire life, in many ways. My personality has changed. My mental abilities have deteriorated. My emotional stability has disappeared. I quit a position with a lucrative salary. I sold my home, in the city, and moved to the country. Just before quitting my job, my supervisor told me, "you're not the same Mike that we used to know, and love". She was right.I have none of the friends that I once had. I go to bed at 8:00, hoping to get a few hours before waking with a screamer. I once devoured books, but can no longer read for more than a few minutes. I once enjoyed movies, but just don't feel like going anymore. What the clusters haven't destroyed, drugs have. I am a totally different person, living in a different place, with different friends and different goals. My goal now is simply survival.I have no plans for the future, just simply to live, and try to enjoy every moment that pain will allow. The beast has totally changed my life. How about yours?