Posted by Bill on October 29, 1998 at 01:59:28:
Like many of you, I have suffered for years with CH.
Some may understand when I say that I have had all the
crazy thoughts...Am I possesed? Is God punishing me?
Am I going to die? Is this doing permanent damage?
And of course, the one that has probably at least crossed
a few of your pain-racked minds, I WANT to die...
It had been about 18 months since I had a cycle of
headaches. I was even beginning to think they had left
me for good. Hah!
How many have had this ridiculous thought...? I actually
somehow missed the !^%&#$@* headaches after a cycle.
Perhaps because they are such an overwhelming and consuming
part of my life while they are here. (Listen to me now,
talking about "them" like they are some kind of living
entity).
They're baaaaack! For several weeks, I have been
experiencing mild attacks during the day and primarily
at night around 1:00 am. The pain, however was not nearly
as severe as the "typical" CH so I was looking for other
causes. Even though the symptoms were there, unilateral
pain, watery eye and stuffy nostril all on one side...
still the pain was nothing near my old friend, Cluster.
Until tonight.
I was jolted out of bed at 12:36 am with a full blown CH
reminiscent of the "good ol' days". I had never in 25
years of battling these things, experienced two weeks of
mild preliminary headaches. How is it they keep finding
new ways to torment us? Tonight, I reached for my little
bag of ammunition called Imitrex. I had one syringe left
from my last bout but hesitated to use it because the
expiration date was May '97. I guess the combination of
the pain and the $40-a-pop made me decide to go ahead and
use it at 12:53 a.m. By 1:05 a.m. I was on my way downstairs
to type this.
I'm sorry to ramble on like this but I still can't believe that
I could be in such excruciating pain, then less than 14 minutes
later...gone! They used to give me Demerol or Morphine at the ER.
They've sent me home with Percodan and Darvocet. All of these
would temporarily, and only partialy ease the pain while making
it nearly impossible to work or function normally.
I wish I was a millionaire and could provide this kind of relief
to everyone suffering with this curse we have. Why is a pharma-
cuetical company so greedy that they'll charge $79.00 for 2 doses
of Imitrex that probably cost them $5.00 to produce?
If someone can offer a rational dispute to this, I will apologize)
I didn't intend to go on like this. I was just so happy to have
found this site earlier today. Then to have an attack and a way
to stop it...sharing it with some new-found friends seemed like a
good idea. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Bill