Posted by Todd (216.199.5.39) on October 04, 1999 at 23:13:02:
Okay, direct all hate mail to toddv25@hotmail.com, but someone has to say this. Lately, the board has attracted many new people. Some are clusterheads. Many are not.
I will never belittle or disregard another's pain, but this isn't a pain board. It's a site for clusterheads and their supporters.
Much as we would like to help the migraineurs, the chronic headache people, the lonely, the depressed, the needy, we can't.
We have our hands, hearts and minds full trying to help fellow clusterheads, and searching for answers.
When I found this site 6 months ago, it was all clusterheads, and all about clusters. I miss that. I need that.
I need to know that the person responding to my plea for understanding does.
This isn't about who's pain is worse. It's not about how debilitating migraines or chronic headaches are.
I'm sure both are very difficult to deal with, but I can't relate.
I CAN relate to those people who have clusters. Who have felt the embarrassment and shame of crying and screaming in front of a child who doesn't understand.
I CAN relate to those who truly understand the feeling of deciding, mid-cluster, that self-decapitation makes perfect, logical sense.
I CAN relate to those who have hid this disorder, nay this disability, from family, friends, co-workers, employers.
I NEED to relate to, and talk with, those who understand and have felt these and comparable things.
Last week, I held a clusterhead while they had an 8, for the first time.
I saw, heard and felt a cluster from the other perspective.
A friend hurt...BAD. And I couldn't do squat.
So I hurt right along with them....not the hurt of a cluster, but the hurt of a supporter.
I watched the tears stream down the face of someone I care about, a true friend.
I felt the frustration of a supporter, who must learn to be there, but not do anything.
When it was over, my friend thanked me. Thanked ME!?!?!?!? For what?
I was as worthless as teats on a boar hog, but I got thanked???
Only clusterheads and supporters will understand that.
So, fire away with your emails, but please don't waste costly board space flaming me. I truly believe this needed to be said, and I'm about as politically correct as Al Gore is 'in touch with the regular people', Nashville office notwithstanding.
If you truly have clusters, stay with us, listen, learn, contribute. But if you don't, please find a website that can help you with your particular problem.