Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.215) on September 14, 1999 at 17:01:06:
Well' for what it's worth, I'm going to the specialist tomorrow. I'm kinda curious to see what this lady really knows. I know one thing - this is my last hope.
I am tired. I have averaged about an hour to two each night for the last few days. Feel like I'm living in a dreamworld or something. I keep thinking about Mike and how he couldn't hold out and I have sustained this misery for this long. Lance called yesterday to see if I am still taking the Methylcobalamin. Yes, still taking that, the melatonin and focus spray, but with little to no results thus far.
Had a headbanging night and morning. Right now my sinuses are going spazz and feels like I've been showing sandpaper up there. I have a slight cold, mainly sinus infection. My jaws have been aching too, feels like I've been beaten with a baseball bat. Been thinking about this Jen girl too. Who says clusters can't kill ya?
Have been bummed out for days, I am trying to look up and keep my head up, but it all seems futile. I'll talk to the doc about it tomorrow. I'll let her know that this is basically for all good intentions my last shot of hope. And if there is no releif in sight, then we just might find out how merciful God really is. I have held out long enough, and I am tired. Can't even think straight anymore - so the book is abandoned for awhile(?). We'll see what we'll see.
PFD4A Carl D