Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.218) on August 09, 1999 at 08:51:42:
It's 7:30am. Not a wink of rest all night. Just tossed and turned. I think the Ultram is getting to me (been itching like theres no tomorrow). Scott, in response to the O2 question: I have a regulator I bought in Michigan, But my stupid neuro wouldnt give me a prescript(?) the last time I was in his torture chamber er,I mean office(lemme see, I get a so-called hardcore narcotic? but the oxygen is off limits?). I don't quite get that one. He gave me a prescript for Stadol and said "lets try one thing at a time". O2 doesn't work for me that well. I almost have to catch it right when I feel a twinge of a H/A coming on for it to do any good. Otherwise It does nothing that I've noticed. I dont get that though. I tried to explain to him, maybe if I could catch a few before they start, I wouldn't have to use the Stadol, but he's a genious. I go back to him the 12th (he's the insensitive jerk who said "how do I know they're that bad? How do I know you get them that much?" Here's a thought doc, lets hang out for awhile. Then when I get one, don't flip If I GO MEDIEVIL ON YOUR ASS! Seriously, If I had money, he'd be anxious to help, I'm sure. It's that bias-no money or insurance= third rate/non priority healthcare. Oh well, I go to the "Cluster Specialist" Sept. 15th, so lets see what she has to say.If Stadol is supposed to be a powerful narcotic, Then I must be burnt-I've taken placebos that were stronger.
I'm taking Kava Kava and Feverfew, a couple of herbs someone E-mailed a suggestion to me to take. Also been taking Super B-12 vitamins, with no effect (except really bright yellow pee). I wish the doctors would get a clue and give me something to knock me out so I can get some halfway decent rest. I stay super-dog tired. Only 2 H/A's thru the night, but both were level 10's. Everytime I laid down though I just tossed and turned, sweating my head off (and I even had a fan on me - must be the Ultram). Got violently sick yesterday too. Went to church last night and zoned out thru the whole service - couldn't tell you what they preached on. A couple of the guys there said I looked like death warmed over. My voice Isn't even mine right now. I sound like a zombie or something.
Guess what I'm feeling right now? Creepin up the side of my freakin head. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Looks like #3 is on its way. Why? Why can't I have one day of peace? One good nights sleep? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS HELL? Dammit. I gotta go. I'm going insane. This sucks.
Carl D