Posted by Margi (207.148.137.77) on July 13, 1999 at 15:19:58:
In Reply to: Re: Don't even sleep in the same room. posted by Hal on July 13, 1999 at 14:30:53:
Hal,
I think that's the hardest lesson I've learned by being a supporter - is to leave Mike alone when he is under attack. I stay within earshot but if he doesn't disappear, I do. I quietly turn down all the noise and lights that I can and I just sit, wait, listen. I think this is a mistake a lot of supporters make at first. You want to be there to help, but you're really more of a hindrance. We have to trust our sufferers to tell us when they need us.
During an attack is NOT the time to ask what to do. In fact, it's a good way to get told off, so it's best to find out between attacks what our sufferers want. It's impossible to put ourselves in their shoes but I know Mike needs to be able to focus on the pain and try to keep himself calm. How can he do that if I'm there firing questions at him!?
Anyways, we're all learning and I know I speak for all supporters here when I say that we don't want our sufferers to feel guilty for what they PERCEIVE they are doing to their families. We just want to help and make them not hurt.
I could go on for hours but you've probably all fallen asleep by now so I'll close.
Water Water Water
Margi