Posted by Barb D. on May 22, 1999 at 13:53:24:
In Reply to: Substitute Funnies for Nancy posted by Margi on May 22, 1999 at 13:16:59:
Since it's FOR Nancy, here goes (Margie, I can hardly wait to get in an elevator - loved it)
Dear Lord:
So far today I've done pretty well. I haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy or grumpy, self-centered or impatient. I haven't gossisped or lied. I'm really glad about that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, then I'll need a lot of help!
THINK ABOUT IT:
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station. GO FIGURE!
If Fedex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead!"
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why do we drive on a Parkway and park in a Driveway?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me - they were cramming for finals.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put up pictures of criminals in the post office? What are we supposed to do, write these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Uh, that's all folks!
Hugs BD