Posted by Margi on May 22, 1999 at 13:16:59:
Hi Gang,
Nancy is probably still not comfy sitting here for long enough to do our Saturday humour so, in her honour, here are some slogans we WON'T be seeing on our t-shirts....enjoy.
** Next mood swing: 6 minutes
** Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it!
** Of course I don't look busy....I did it right the first time.
** I'm multitalented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
** Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
** You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
** All stressed out and no one to choke.
** How can I miss you if you won't go away?
** Noboby knows I'm not wearing underwear.
** My Karma ran over my Dogma!
Okay, here's some things to do in an elevator...
I dare you..................
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you- just
shut UP!"
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in
there?"
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call
you Admiral.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new
socks on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now- motion
sickness!"
Meow occassionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and
move to the far corner of the elevator.
Leave a box between the doors when you get off.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Start a sing-along.
Shadow box.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say: "I wonder what all these do...." and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that
this is your "personal space."
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
When in a crowded elevator, announce loudly: "So, I suppose you're wondering why
I've called you all here together."
Pain free days ahead
Cheers
Margi