Posted by gary g on May 11, 1999 at 15:11:57:
In Reply to: Talk about more discouraging things? posted by bobt on May 11, 1999 at 11:59:13:
bob - very good post & subject
don't beat yourself up too much, you are reporting plain, solid information
that represents honesty
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following is related, but general, NOT addressed to any individual:
honesty is the true basis of all faith & hope:
honesty about what we know and what we don't, honesty about what our challenges are and what they aren't,
honesty about just how bad our problems are - and just how bad they aren't !
we can't make any progress at all until we clearly ID and acknowledge that which is
(being careful to separate that from what we'd like, what we expected, what we think it should be etc..)
I find w/ the CH that whenever I take a cold hard look at the actual facts & figures of my case, it can be a little scary, but it ultimately makes ne feel better ........
know your enemy, and all that
if we try to Pollyanna the damned thing we're just lying to ourself, and THAT is a sure way to drive the fear, doubt and anxiety right up the scale
hell, if we don't recognize the bad stuff, how can we trust the good stuff ????
another "secret weapon" is to not dwell on the problem - knock off the I'm a victim - self-pity crap, because that's just what it is, and has NEVER helped anybody meet any challenge
HUH ? how the hell is that possible with CH ?
easy -
1. accept that you have CH, big deal & realize how much INCREDIBLY worse lots & lots of people have things, right there you are making a start on getting the positive back in your life
2. simply make dealing with CH your #1 "job" when you're in a cluster - reduce it to the steps you need to take to get today's "work" done and do it;
then forget about it & get on with the rest TO THE EXTENT YOU ARE ABLE - and don't waste 1 second of energy worrying about what if what if what if, or I should be I should be I should be
this all ties into the spiritual and mental side of coping with these things
I realize from past experience that many of us don't like/aren't ready to do that yet - and it's NOT easy , it's a lot of work, but IT PAYS - hell it took me nearly 20 years of CH to "get willing enough to do anything that helps" to trust this kind of "mumbo-jumbo"
guess what - it works !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still get CH clusters
I still get absolutely horrible attacks within them
They still disrupt the way I live my life
When I'm in a real set of 'em, they still take over my habits, moves and activities
BUT my life is much much better working on making lemonade out of lemons, than it was when I raged against the beast, and alternated between demanding someone/something fix it NOW and bouts of whymepoormeitis
BASICALLY - ACCEPT IT for the day you're in, and try a little positive attitude adjustment to deal with that day; if you can turn it from 100% negative to 90% negative THAT'S PROGESS !!!!!!YOU WIN
THEN, when you have an interlude of clear headed, reduced pain time, work on doing your homework, research, etc to join in the effort to beat these bastards, or mow the lawn or whatever
just my opinion, but it sure works for me when I apply it