Posted by Todd Owen (12.44.181.2) on February 06, 2002 at 12:34:39:
In Reply to: Pain management when all else fails? posted by pinksharkmark on February 06, 2002 at 09:57:46:
...isn't always 'benign'. My first issue comes from finding a source for many of these drugs. My other issue comes from not only finding a source, but also finding a reliable source. I have never been one to experiment with drugs, even in high school and college--the 'high' feeling didn't do anything for me. I felt more out of control than feeling good. As someone who jumps from airplanes on a regular basis, being in absolute control over myself is an imperative.
So I need to find somewhere to get these drugs first. Usually, the people dealing these things are usually not people I prefer to deal with, and usually not in areas of the town that I care to visit. Additionally, once I purchase these drugs, how do I know what I actually have in my hand? What amounts to quality control? What assurance do I have that it is LSD and not rat poison? Yes, the odds are that the guy peddling this stuff has passed along something worthwhile, but as someone who has had friends come close to serious brain damage and death from experimenting with such 'benign' drugs, I'm not as ready to hop on that train. To me, living with serious brain damage that destroys my life is worse than dying--the fear I have while skydiving is not of dying, it is of living through a mistake that leaves me as crippled and unable to live.
Maybe I should fly overseas? The cost of the trip may be less than that of gamma knife surgery, but it isn't covered by insurance. Plunk down several thousand for plane tickets, passports, hotels, etc. while you're trying to care for your wife and two kids. Cost in dollars and time there isn't always worth it.
Am I afraid of getting 'stoned'? Damn straight! Any med that gave me those sort of side effects was immediately stopped and the neuro told about it; I refused to take it anymore after that.
All in all, I have my reasons for not taking that road. Were these drugs available by prescription and my neuro felt it would help, I'd be trying them. I don't think these people are lying to me, I have no reason to mistrust them. Your reasons for avoiding the therapy are not the same as mine, and you may not feel that my reasoning is strong enough to avoid 'experimenting'. That is your opinion and your choice. My reasons are mine, and they are mine alone. If you cannot accept that, then that is your problem.