Posted by drummer (209.105.134.245) on July 21, 1999 at 01:21:29:
This post is really, really important to me. Please listen carefully. I suffer from Cluster Headaches just like you. I also have been a Cluster Headache supporter just like you. Cluster Headaches are awful. I have suffered the pain of a Cluster attack for 15 years. For whatever reason I have been chosen to not have a remission for more than 7 to 10 days at a time in all these 15 years. Doctors call me a chronic Cluster Headache sufferer.
Exactly half of my brain thought how wonderful it would be to meet a fellow Cluster Headache sufferer. The other half of my brain was terrified to meet someone that suffered from Cluster Headaches. I believe the second half of my brain is afraid of strangers. The first half of my brain made the ultimate decision. I invited my friend Elaine to my house. Elaine accepted my invitation.
I have not realized how horrible it is to suffer from Cluster Headaches until tonight. Elaine suffers from chronic Cluster Headaches just like me. Elaine has suffered from chronic Cluster Headaches for 17 years. Elaine is a normal, regular human being. Elaine is extremely compassionate and honest. Elaine has a wonderful sense of humor. Elaine is thoughtful, considerate and caring. Elaine is gentle. The outside of Elaine is as gentle as the inside of Elaine. I know this because I have talked and E-mailed Elaine for the past 2 months. I know for certain that Elaine has done nothing to deserve the torture of a Cluster Headache.
Elaine, my wife, my daughters and I ate dinner together tonight. Elaine watched my wife and I put our daughters to bed. Elaine and I said good night to my wife. Elaine and I stayed up talking about my kids and her kids. Elaine and I exchanged funny kid stories. We smiled and laughed together. With absolutely no notice the smile disappeared from Elaine’s face.
I knew who had taken Elaine’s smile. I knew that the Demon had taken her smile. I was about to become a Cluster Headache supporter for the first time in my life. Elaine and I forgot to prepare ourselves for what was about to happen. I wished that my Demon had awakened instead of hers. I immediately realized that I did not want to be a Cluster Headache supporter. I also knew the feeling of having the Demon awake in me when I was outside the comfort of my own home. I knew the panic and frustration that Elaine was going through. I knew the pain that she was experiencing.
Elaine looked at me and said, “I’m sorry”. I said, “no”. I ran to the living room and moved the coffee table away from the front of the couch. Elaine came in and dropped to her knees where the coffee table once stood. I turned on the Oxygen tank and handed her the mask. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the Imitrex injections. Elaine asked for half a shot. I removed the small glass tube from it’s holder and placed the needle into Elaine’s arm. With a cotton swab I pushed the plunger to give her half of the medicine. Elaine rocked back and forth on her knees and breathed and breathed and breathed. She said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”.
I thought I knew what to do. I thought I knew what Elaine needed. I thought Elaine needed to be left alone to fight her Demon. I ran back to the kitchen to make coffee. As I was pouring the water into the coffee maker I heard Elaine say, “Dave”? I froze. Again I heard, “Dave”? I walked to the living room. I saw Elaine still on her knees. I saw her rocking and breathing just as before. The only difference was that her hand was outstretched pointing towards me. I came close and sat on the floor next to her. She held my hand. Again she said, “I’m sorry”. I told her to breathe. I asked her to tell me what to do. She asked me to stay and let her know if she squeezed my hand too tightly. She said that she did not want to hurt me. I told her to breathe. She let out a soft agonizing moan. She said, “it hurts”. I said, “I know”. I told her to breathe.
I forgot to look at the clock to see what time the smile disappeared from Elaine’s face. How long had her Demon been playing? How long would he play with my friend Elaine? Elaine said, “I’m sorry”. Elaine said, “the kids”. I said, “don’t worry”. Elaine moaned and rocked and gasped for air. She squeezed my hand. She said she was sorry. She rocked and moaned and breathed, “I’m sorry”. Over and over and over. Again and again and again. How long had it been? I wanted this to stop. I knew it wouldn’t.
Elaine asked for another injection of the remainder of the medicine. I gave her the shot. She said she was sorry. I told her to breathe. My friend was hurting. She rocked and moaned. She squeezed my hand and I held her arm. Some time later the Demon released his hold on my friend. Elaine removed the Oxygen mask and looked in my eyes. She said that she was sorry.
Elaine and I called the creator of this web-site on my speakerphone. We told him our story. He asked me to post this story to OUR board. I did. Good idea DJ.
Elaine has driven back to her Hotel room. I hope she sleeps through the night. All of my brain wants to see Elaine tomorrow. All of my brain wants Elaine to never hurt again. This next part is just for Elaine:
”Elaine, I’m sorry”.