Posted by Ted (205.188.199.168) on January 08, 2002 at 04:13:06:
but sometimes we don't see our light and think we are so worthless and not worthy of any light at all. But, and I will use the word God here, you don't see his plan. You don't see why you have been worthy. You don't see the purpose of any of it. You just see the pain and miss the reasons. You can't see the beauty and purpose of it. And here I sit worried about the same things. I sit here scared that Thursday will be a bad day too. For whoever I may be talking to, I love you. I don't want to talk in code anymore. I'm scared too. And I love you. And I'll be with you. And I love you!!!!!!!! Find me if you can. This isn't drawing him out. This is a need. Anyway, look around at what you don't want to see even here. Your light is so bright. Look around baby. Look at how loved you are here. Just look. OK. I'm done looking crazy tonight. I'll wait till later to look crazy again. :-) I'm sorry. I just needed to answer you and what you fear. I'm sorry for doing it here. I have no choices.