Posted by Tony G (198.81.16.186) on January 03, 2002 at 12:20:54:
First of all, I want to say that the New Year is going bad already. They decided to send my best friend and wife to Bosnia in March for 8 months (Life in the Military) Has its down sides!
Second, To Paco, I sure wish you would decide to post again. I enjoyed your Straight forward posts (I aswell, respect your opinion!!!)
Now for some Fun, I hope?
> 1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little
Better.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 11. If At First You Don't Succeed...
> Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 26. Illiterate? Write For Help
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside
Down On A Jeep]
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For
70mph.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look
Like Jabba The Hut?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 44. Ax Me About Ebonics
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 46. Boldly Going Nowhere
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 47. Cat: The Other White Meat
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 50. Heart Attacks ...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is
lost?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With
Bullets.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 59. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
PF to all....Tony