Posted by anonymous (64.12.106.48) on December 15, 2001 at 13:23:20:
12 STEPS
1. We admitted we were powerless over everything and totally fogged
in. Only professionals should manage our lives.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves {Social Security}
will pay us to remain useless and incompetent.
3. Made a decision to never make another decision about anything. The
stress is overwhelming and disturbs our naps.
4. A searching and moral inventory is pointless. We are empty people
with no redeeming values and must strive to remain this way.
5. Admitted to no one, even ourselves, even the remote possibility of
being wrong. It's just not our nature.
6. Were entirely ready to retire and have Doctors and Public Assistance
remove all responsibilities from us.
7. Humbly asked the state to provide a lifetime of free room and board.
8. Made a list of all people we owe money to and promptly threw it
away.
9. Persistently refused to acknowledge the existence of said people lest
we will injure them if they try to collect.
10. Continued to take regular peoples inventory thus determining any
threat to our lifestyle and to determine their availability to copulate.
11. Sought6 out cheap take out restaurants that deliver so that we need
not go out in public
12. Having awoken from our naps, we sought to send messages to all
members of the opposite sex expressing our desires to have lurid
affairs and practice weird sex acts.