Posted by Todd on November 16, 2001 at 13:48:01:
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and
it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that
will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish
or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as
you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And
it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to
be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom
and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my
own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved
them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and
wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and
said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and
preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who
will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion
will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's
eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam
and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.