Posted by Charlie S (206.159.163.143) on September 21, 2001 at 01:22:35:
> > > > > > Memo to all employees:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > In order to assure the highest levels of quality
> > > > > > work
> > > > > > and productivity from
> > > > > > employees, it will be our policy to keep all
> > > > > > employees
> > > > > > well trained through
> > > > > > our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
> > > > > > (S.H.I.T.).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T.
> > > > > > than
> > > > > > anyone else.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If you feel that you do not receive your share of
> > > > > > S.H.I.T. during the course, please see your
> > > > > > supervisor. You will be immediately
> > > > > > placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our
> > > > > > supervisors are especially
> > > > > > skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you
> > > > > > can
> > > > > > handle.
> > > > > > Employees who don't take their S. H. I. T. will be
> > > > > > placed in DEPARTMENTAL
> > > > > > EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously
> > > > > > will have to go to
> > > > > > EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were
> > > > > > promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,
> > > > > > and
> > > > > > are all full of
> > > > > > S.H.I.T. already.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested
> > > > > > in
> > > > > > a job teaching others.
> > > > > > We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST
> > > > > > of LEADERS
> > > > > > (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > For employees who are intending to pursue a career
> > > > > > in
> > > > > > management and consulting, we will refer you to the
> > > > > > department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
> > > > > > RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
> > > > > > emphasizes how to manage
> > > > > > M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If you have further questions, please direct them to
> > > > > > our HEAD OF TEACHING,
> > > > > > SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
> > > > > > TRAINING B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5 people who need
> > > > > > some
> > > > > > S.H.I.T. in their life, just not the same person who
> > > > > > sent you this S.H.I.T.
> > > > > > They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Thank you for your time.
> > > > > > Sincerely, The Director Under the Main Bureau of
> > > > > > Super
> > > > > > High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.).
Smiles, Charlie :^)