Posted by Mike B (65.35.86.125) on September 10, 2001 at 21:06:38:
In Reply to: AAARGHHHHH!! posted by Elizabeth on September 10, 2001 at 18:06:18:
I know this is like way long, but, hey, that's just me I reckon. LOL.
Keep hanging in there Elizabeth...
I feel pretty sure that if one repeatedly jammed an icepick into someone's temple and maybe grabbed there optic nerve with a pair of vise-grips and started twisting, the average person would have some idea of what it is like. Not that I'm suggesting that you do that. Then again, they still would not really know. Cause that would probably just kill'em after a short while. Not good enough to understand CH's.
A CH is pretty much invisible and leaves no mark. Others do not seem to be able to grasp that one can look 'normal' on the outside and even be 'normal' as far as medical testing goes, yet be suffering horribly, like if they had a red hot screw driver sticking out of their head or something. I don't know. Perhaps it would be a quite effective torture to use on POW's. I think most would break fairly quickly. Then again, it is never a good idea to underestimate the inner strength and tenacity of a human being. I cannot tell you the importance of getting this into your head. I need to be reminded myself by friends on this board. You can do amazing things by perservering. There are many on this board who are also hanging tough and rolling with the tide as best they can. You are not alone in this suffering, though I myself find that is no solace. It is just tragic and horrible. CH's are insidious and monstruous and I hate it that others have to hate it as well...
Sometimes I wish that I could kill it by offing myself or something stupid, like that priest did in that horror flick called the "Excorcist" or something. You know, get it in me, then jump. But, that would be a worthless gesture. it'd still be out there. Randomly torturing and inflicting pain as visciously as ever. The bastard. Nope, I ain't gonna give him the satisfaction of quitting or going down. I hope that you will not either. The beast is such an A'hole. We know how it is.
BTW, I seem to alternate between SOB and MF'er when I am getting hit hard. I reckon don't matter what you say though. It all means the same damn thing.
Oh, and people are sometimes like that. I know that people in my life got tired of hearing me whine about my CH's. Kind of like the evening news being the same everyday. LOL. But, you can ALWAYS come here to the board and let loose. If me or someone else does not like it. Tough titty. Personally, it doesn't bother me. I understand it.
Hopefully, you will find some relief from your pain (Wether it is CH or not). Keep looking for something that helps, hang tough and look for those happy times when you can just smile and enjoy a little sunshine on your face or whatever.
Wishing you some PFT. Sorry, I guess I was rambling without much point. Sorry about that. Not feeling to good. Got my own prob's.
But, you just keep hanging on. It will get better. Believe me when I say that it will. Be there when it does Elizabeth. You can do it.
Hope you start feeling better soon sister...
Love, Michael B