Posted by me, again... (216.232.13.93) on September 08, 2001 at 03:28:54:
One day in the future, Rep. Gary Condit has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU
decide who leaves."
Condit thought that sounded pretty good, so the Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing and diving in again. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Condit said. "I don't think so. Even though I'm from California, I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Condit.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Condit saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best!
Condit looked in disbelief and excitedly said, "Yeah, I can handle this!"
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."