Bad thoughts....


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Posted by Brad W. (205.188.196.41) on August 28, 2001 at 11:53:33:

This is really hard to type. I've gone back and forth wondering if I should say anything. Sometimes, it's hard to admit things. I have been having some disturbing thoughts in the last two days. It seems to me, at this stage, that it would be easier to just curl up and die than face the Beast.

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm too chicken to do anything to myself. But I keep having these 'fantasies', if you will, about dying. I think about things like; 'if I could just have a heart attack' or 'why can't I just have an aneurysm and get it over with'.

I don't want to sound melo-dramatic. I don't want to sound stupid. Lord knows I feel stupid typing this.

I saw a post recently that included some sites for help. I tried searching for them, but was unable to find them. Can someone please post a link that you might know of? I just need someone to talk to, I think.

Hope this doesn't sound too stupid.

Peace,
Brad




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