Posted by August (206.102.3.30) on August 19, 2001 at 02:23:35:
In Reply to: My last few minutes on earth! posted by Elaine on August 19, 2001 at 02:02:18:
you are scaring the shit out of me right now. Yes you are a strong lady!!! It sounds like you are very tired, tired to the depth of your soul right now, and hurting badly and you don't see an end to it.
I'm sorry it's me answering this, so many others know you better, and must understand better why you are at this point. Please know i was at this very same point about a week ago. I didn't see any point to living because i thought my presence hurt those i love more than helped them. I thought well, i only have another 6 months to a year anyway. It's amazing the things you can convince yourself when you hurt so bad that another second of living seems impossible to endure. After your gone who is going to spoil your grandbaby? Who is going to give advice about being a mother to their daughter?
I don't know what your facing anymore with your fight against cancer. This is what i do know. I know that when you were born a precious life joined the world. God has a purpose for every life, and for everything we face. For some people their purpose is to be an example of strength because others who are weaker need the inspiration to hang on. How many people do you think you have inspired and how many lives do you think you have touched in a positive way since you were born? I don't even know you and i can see how many from where i sit alone.
Elaine i know...i really do know how hard it is to hang on when you know your life is going to reach an end, and sooner than we like. All things end, but not before their time.
Elaine you are a precious life both to God, and to so many others. Don't take that life away before you finish your purpose, before you finish the reason for being born.
Please, please hear me, i'm speaking from my heart to you. If i knew your telephone number i'd be calling you. I wish i did know your number, or cell number. If you read this and e-mail me your number i will call you.
God's will Elaine,...not ours.