Posted by Carl D (172.140.58.166) on July 30, 2001 at 07:09:14:
Hey gang...
I have been offline for awhile, due to the fact I am overloaded with bills and such, which also explains why I was unable to make it to the convention.
I have been emotionally overloaded as well. My neighbors upstairs and downstairs have been arguing, bickering, he said/ she said type of nonsense, and have dragged me kicking and screaming through thier mud. Not to mention the fact that I am still having a hard time dealing with the death of a good friend earlier this month who died after a lengthy illness, and it took quite a toll on me emotionally (I have lost 5 friends in 3 months time, and it has messed me up.) Plus I just got a roommate and that has added to the tension around here. I am buried up to my neck with too many things emotionally and I basically had a nervous breakdown over the weekend.
All I have to say is: anyone who says that stress is not related to Cluster Headaches is full of shit!!!
I have been getting hit again the last 12 days, and I don't know if it is because I had a break from them for awhile or what, but they seem 100 times worse.
Unfortunately I was not prepared for this, as my "herbal supplement" I was cultivating failed to produce anything but mold and bugs, so now I am on the hunt. I am waiting for a friend to get back to me on the herbal situation, but until then I am just riding them out. Talk about frustrating. One thing that has agitated me the last few days is intense shadowing. I was fortunate enough to still have some DHE-45 nasal spray, and was able to abort 2 of 3 attacks (the 3rd the DHE had no effect on). They are gradually picking up in frequency again, and I had a bad one earlier tonight/morning. I am just hoping I don't have to go another 3 1/2 years straight with these things again. I don't know what I will do if that happens.
Oh wait, yes I do...
Punch the floors, bang my head into the walls, yell, scream, curse...
I am trying to get back into the neuro just in case I don't find any herbal treatment, in order to get more DHE nasal spray and give o2 the 'ole college try again.
After reading about the convention, I was entirely bummed out I didn't get to go. So I am saying right now - I will NOT make it to the CH convention in 2002. I figure since I said I would be there last year and this year, maybe if I say I won't go next year, I will actually make it this time.
Just had to vent a bit. I am just grateful I did have a somewhat remission for a couple of months and am hoping this regression is only temporary. Finally starting to get my life back together, and I will be DAMNED if I let these things stop me again.
Once again I have alot of catching up to do in reading the board. Whenever I can, I will post - if I have anything worthwhile to contribute. I do have to say though, I have missed reading the board. There is a strange comfort in knowing that I am not alone with this. I remember for years before I found this board thinking no one understands what I am going through. I never realized so many people suffer with CH. We are not alone.
Peace,
Carl D