Posted by GR (32.96.237.1) on July 20, 2001 at 13:46:32:
It's Scottish Joke Day!
Did you hear about the Scot who gave up golf?
He lost his ball.
Did you hear about the Scot who took up golf?
He found it.
A Scottish hotel is an establishment where they pinch the
towels off the guests.
The handyman had just returned to the farmhouse after finishing
the backbreaking job of removing rocks from the field. Mrs. MacDougal, the farmer's wife, decided to thank him for his work, and handed him a drink of Scotch, saying, "This is the good stuff! It's twenty-five years old!"
The handyman, also a pure Scot, looked at his glass and replied,
"A bit small for it's age, isn't it?"
The first sign of summer is when a Scotsman throws out his
Christmas tree.
A good friend of mine was recently touring Scotland. After stopping in a local store he spied a kilt that he absolutely had to have. After haggling with the shopkeeper for an extended
period of time, they arrived at a mutually agreeable price far below that which was posted.
My friend then took out his Velcro wallet and proceeded to
open it, at which point the shopkeeper exclaimed "Ay, now that
is a good Scots purse, it even screams when ye open it!"