Posted by Margi (161.184.81.207) on June 21, 2001 at 15:05:59:
Hello, my name is Kevin and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with
a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
> > >
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we?
> > >
> > > "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.
> > >
> > > Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
> > >
> > > Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck them.
> > >
> > > If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 9000 times.
> > > I don't fucking care.
> > >
> > > Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
> > > The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
> > > If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
> > > Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.