Posted by jeanine on April 15, 1999 at 12:59:23:
In Reply to: Anxiety Galore posted by Jackie on April 15, 1999 at 11:54:03:
Jackie-
I am so with you, girlfriend!! I am a happy, athletic, active, competitive person. Most comments made to me are: "what mountain are you climbing next?" or "you are always smiling!". When I get a cluster I am so depressed I can't stand it! Everyone notices... I become so different, I find it so hard to smile and laugh. I am so scared I won't be myself again! I hate who I become...but I have no energy or ambition. My house becomes a mess,I am single so no one is there to take care of me, I don't answer the phone, and I cry alot for who I have become. I put my faith in the fact it will soon be over, and when it is, and I come out of it... I do more for myself than ever before. I re-connect with those who make me laugh, I buy myself a new, sexy outfit ;), get a massage, excercise like a maniac to loose the few pounds I seeem to put on while on Verapamil. I make it up for myself. Money becomes no object.
So when you feel slightly ok.... pamper and love yourself. You have to find a way to make it worth the wait... it truly is.
I thank you for sharing this... I thought it was me feeling sorry for myself, but I do think it is a chemical change in our heads, and we have to muscle through it... we just HAVE to. The demon will not win this battle.
Take care, my thoughts are with you. Be strong.
Jeanine