Posted by GR (32.96.237.24) on April 11, 2001 at 14:17:35:
Subject: Love and Marriage... as written by a man
Remember; Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage!
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
___________
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,
"What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God
created man and rested. Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives?
Cause they want to.
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Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
____________
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
"Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
__________
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once.
____________
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
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You don't know how good a thing is until you loose it! When you
get married you lose your celibacy.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.