Posted by August (208.161.103.136) on April 05, 2001 at 11:55:16:
In Reply to: soul bearing and honesty .... the only two ways i know posted by deb e on April 05, 2001 at 11:30:56:
and a time for listening. What happens when the kick in the pants is the last one you ever get to give them?
I'm all for wanting to know the truth. If i'm wallowing around in depression I want someone to tell me they understand but "hey life goes on." If someone tells me to get over myself when i'm in a dark hole, i don't feel anything but more desperate and more hurt. If someone sees me, actually sees me, and listens and offers to help me out of the hole or offers to guide me out and tells me they believe in me, that i'm strong, and it's time to fight...then I feel some hope and i feel like someone believes in me.
I'm not putting any judgement on Elaine or Todd. I will say this, tough love is a crock of shit. My mother was a tough love advocate. All it did for us was show us we could never go to her when we needed help. There is a time for that kick in the pants, but it's not when someone is already down. Then it's just a kick that keeps them down.