Posted by Hector (205.188.197.41) on March 24, 2001 at 05:31:29:
> Computer Doctor
> One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
> "My
> elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
> "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
> "There's
> a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a
> urine
> sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
> it.
> It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper
> than a
> doctor."
> So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
> drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
> for
> the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
> Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis
> elbow.
> Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in
> two
> weeks.
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> began
> wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a
> stool
> sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
> masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
> Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He
> deposits
> ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
> The computer prints the following:
> 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
> 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
> 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
> better.
>