Posted by Darleen (198.103.221.3) on March 15, 2001 at 13:52:02:
I don't normally do this but I really just need to vent.
John is doing so well - clusters have been gone since last summer - but it seems when we just get ourselves back on track something else happens. A little history....John, my husband, is 35 years old but God love him he feels so much older most days. He suffers from many things including high blood pressure, epilepsy, diabetes, severe acid reflux, and clusters just to name a few. All the medication he takes either makes him tired and cranky. Last week due to tests he needed to have for his diabetes, he had a seizure at the hospital because he couldn't take his medication on time for his epilepsy so now until the doctors find out what caused the seizure he is without a driver's license. He feels that his world is just crumbling around him. Of course I try to support him as best I can as I always have but this is a real hard time of year for us as he doesn't get back to work until June and the bills keep on coming in and I just feel that I've lost control of everything. I can't control his seizures or the fact that they keep postponing his doctors appts or now since he doesn't have a driver's license I have to do everything and it's just finally starting to catch up with me and I don't want to tell him any of this because he has enough on his mind to deal with without have to deal with my complaining. I get in these "Life sucks" moods and this one has lasted a bit too long for me. I don't know if I'll ever come out of it. It sucks to always be supporting someone and then feeling guilty when you need the support. Don't get me wrong I'm sure if I told him what was going on my little head he would be great because that's just the way he is but I don't want to burden him, that's all. Ah well, such is life...I know this may not seem like much to some but it's the just what I'm feeling and I had to spill my guts to someone.
Sorry for the tirade but I needed to vent and I know I can here.
Thanks for listening.
Darleen