Posted by Thomas (205.188.195.39) on March 14, 2001 at 15:22:43:
Hi! Although this site, giving the opportunity to get in contact with other CH-sufferers, is a breakthrough in my life, the posted messages were haunting me, many of them always saying : Look, that's you.This is how your life was, is, and forever will be.
I always tried to deny my experiences one second after..., tried to avoid the feeling of desperation, that began to settle in me, always hoped "this was the last time" of an imagination, which belonged to me alone and therefore did not had to be true.
Meanwhile, after some days on this site, my mind was deeply confused. I could not escape into postive thinking anymore. All of my horrible thoughts, even without an attack, were true. Okay, I faced it.
And I'm beginning to recognize, that this is the better way, the only way. The answers to my first question on the board were the sweetest music I have heard for a long time. Somebody cared, somebody who, although I don't know her or him, was closer to me, than other close persons for years. There is no one between us, who is not the target of brutal violence. We (I) can not explain to others this other world, they will never know. Like an added dimension, only visible to us. The problem is: how to avoid to live totally in the invisible dimension? Staying there even without actual pain? Ironically, I was - for a short time - thinking about giving up fighting, when I realized my faith reading your messages on the board. I started to cry and could not stop. Luckily nobody came in. Meanwhile I feel strong again. Thank you for listening and my best wishes to all of you, bye, Thomas