Posted by TerryS (24.24.79.72) on March 05, 2001 at 19:51:23:
> > > > > << THE LEGLESS PARROT
> > > > >
> > > > > A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
> > > sitting on a little
> > > > > perch.
> > > > >
> > > > > It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says
> > > aloud;"Jeesh. I wonder
> > > > > what
> > > > > happened to this Parrot?"
> > > > >
> > > > > The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
> > > parrot."
> > > > >
> > > > > "Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood
> > > and answered me!"
> > > > >
> > > > > "I got every word," says the parrot."I happen to be a
> > > highly
> > > > > intelligent,thoroughly educated bird."
> > > > >
> > > > > "Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this-how do you
> > > hang onto your
> > > > > perch without any feet?"
> > > > >
> > > > > "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but
> > > since you asked,
> > > > > I
> > > > > wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little
> > > hook. You can't see
> > > > > it
> > > > > because of my feathers."
> > > > >
> > > > > "Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak
> > > English, can't
> > > > > you!?"
> > > > >
> > > > > "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can
> > > converse with
> > > > > reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics,
> > > religion, sports,
> > > > > physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
> > > You really
> > > > > ought
> > > > > to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
> > > > >
> > > > > The guy looks at the $200 price tag."Sorry, but I just
> > > can't afford
> > > > > that."
> > > > >
> > > > > "Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the
> > > truth is, nobody
> > > > > wants
> > > > > me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me
> > > for $20, just
> > > > > make
> > > > > the guy an offer!"
> > > > >
> > > > > The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.Weeks
> > > go by. The parrot
> > > > > is
> > > > > sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's
> > > interesting, he's a
> > > > > great
> > > > > pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
> > > insightful.
> > > > >
> > > > > The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from
> > > work and the
> > > > > parrot
> > > > > goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one
> > > wing. "I don't know
> > > > > if
> > > > > I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife
> > > > > and the postman."
> > > > >
> > > > > "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
> > > > >
> > > > > "When the postman delivered today,your wife greeted him
> > > at the door in a
> > > > > sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
> > > > >
> > > > > "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
> > > happened?"
> > > > >
> > > > > "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted
> > > up her nighty and
> > > > > began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
> > > > >
> > > > > "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
> > > > >
> > > > > "Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and
> > > began to lick
> > > > > her
> > > > > all over,starting with her breasts and slowly going
> > > down..."
> > > > >
> > > > > "WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch.
> >