Top Forty Things You Will NEVER Hear A Southern Boy Say


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Posted by Ike (38.37.100.247) on February 08, 2001 at 15:07:38:

For those that may be going to Atlanta(actually Jonesboro,yuk) for the convention.


40. Oh, I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in the house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrestling's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and fresh melon instead of the biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey,we don't need another dog.

24. Who gives a damn about the Civil War?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22.Too many deer heads distract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino taste better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C: drive.

14. Unsweetened tea taste better.

13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima on ice for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too much fat grams.

9. Checkmate

8. She,s too young to be wearing a bikini.

7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

6. Hey, heres and episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

5. I don't have a favorite college team.

4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

3. You ALL

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'.

And Number one is:

1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.




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