Posted by Leslie Apfelbaum (38.26.235.99) on January 31, 2001 at 19:27:12:
In Reply to: www.oprah.com Oprah's website posted by Don M. on September 15, 1998 at 15:37:47:
Dear Oprah,
I've noticed recent shows about weight loss and helping overweight
people lose their weight. I am 14 years old and I am a diagnosed
anorexic. I was thinking that you could do a show on anorexia to
not only help me further my knowledge on this subject but many
other people as well. I recently wrote a paper on anorexia and showed
it to some of my friends and one of my teachers. It confesses my secrets
and shows the true life of an anorexic. They all told me it was amazing
and that I should publish it to inspire many women. Maybe this could be some
help for your show if you ever decide to do one on eating disorders.
The Lesser Known Deadly Disease:
Anorexia
By Leslie Apfelbaum
There are so many deadly diseases out there that we are all familiar with. AIDS, cancer, and countless others. But the lesser talked about is anorexia. People don't know the serious risks it has on your health. And most of the time, even if they do know, they don't believe it will happen to them or they think it's worth it to have the "perfect" body.
I myself have had these views. I still do in fact. I've realized what I do is dangerous in many ways, but I can't stop. I don't know how. Everyday teen girls get sucked into this never-ending mind deceiving trick that anorexia plays on us. We could be 15 pounds underweight but still see fat in the mirror. Society plays a big role in this deception.
We've created the idea that the thinner you are, the more beautiful you are. It hurts me to see people killing themselves to be "beautiful" and realize that I am doing it to myself. I went through denial, everyone else knew I had a problem so why didn't I? I went out and bought diet pills. I once found an empty box of diet pills in my older sister's trash can.
She is my role model so I naturally thought that by taking the pills I could be like her. I don't in any way blame this on her. But she does have an influence on me that she doesn't realize. Most people don't realize the influence they have on others. I sometimes wish that diet pills and laxatives weren't over the counter drugs. Most of the people that
buy them aren't those with weight problems. It is most often those with eating disorders. And so many people die from them. I know all this and yet I still take them. That's what makes it even scarier. I know the risks and I ignore them because of my addiction to being thin. How thin is thin enough? I myself want to be under 100. Anything over 100 pounds
is fat for my body. My diluted mind thinks this way. I even started a new diet of keeping a journal with everything I eat and how many calories it has. I set a limit of 1000 calories per day. Most of the time I eat much less than that. Everyone knows that you can die from anorexia, but people who are anorexic don't usually know how close to death
they really are. I recently found out that the brand of diet pills I take are known to cause strokes. And knowing that I still took one today. I still plan on taking one tomorrow. I don't consider myself addicted…just desperate. I go through periods where I force myself to throw up after I eat. I will do it for a few days at a time, then stop and start
again some days later. I consider my period a bad sign. I consider being only 2 pounds underweight a bad sign. Everytime people talk about me being anorexic, I just think that there are plenty of people worse than me. I think that all of the people that die from anorexia are much more severe cases and I assume that will never happen to me. Most anorexics
think this way. But when they finally realize they are in serious danger, it could be too late. I am so sick of seeing all of these television shows and commercials about losing weight and being thin and beautiful. I never even realized before how much weight loss is advertised. It is sickening to think that people see these false images created by
television and wish they could look like that. I cry thinking how people die to look like thin models and how I am doing the same. I am eternally grateful for all of the love and support I have. It helps so much to have someone there that you can trust and talk to and get advice even if you don't agree with it. Two girls at my school have helped me a
great deal, Julia and Tzivie. I don't think they realize how much they help me. And my family and friends. Although they can make it harder on me sometimes, they still show their love for me. They've stuck by me through this all. My best friend, Monika has continually told me how much I am hurting myself but supported me just the same. I love being able
to tell her anything and still have her support. I hope anyone reading this will have a better understanding of how our minds work. I am an anorexic in need of recovery. Just admitting that is a big step and it is hard for me to say. I think I eventually will seek the help I need and hopefully before it is too late. And hopefully this will give at least
one person insight into the real life of an anorexic and realize it isn't as glamorous as you might think.
Thanks for your time in reading this. I do hope you can do a show and give me some more info on my disease.
Sincerely,
Leslie Apfelbaum