Posted by anonymous on March 12, 1999 at 16:46:59:
One day,a man complained to his friend,my elbow hurts,
i guess i should see a doctor! His friend said,no
don't do that,there's a computer down at the drug store
that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a
doctor,simply put in a sample of your urine and the
computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what
you can do about it! And it only costs 10 bucks!!!
Well the man figured he had nothing to lose,so he filled
a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer,he poured in the sample,and deposited
10 bucks.The computer started making some noise and
various lights started flashing.After a brief pause,
out popped a small slip of paper which read:YOU HAVE
TENNIS ELBOW.SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER,AVOID HEAVY
LABOR.IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS:
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was and how it would change medical science forever,
he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled!
He decided to give it a try.He mixed together some tap
water,a stool sample from his dog,and urine samples
from his wife and daughter.To top it off he masturbated
into it!He went back to the drug store,poured it in,
paid 10 bucks and waited.The machine again made the same
usual noises,flashed lights,and printed out the following,
YOUR TAP WATER IS TO HARD:GET A WATER SOFTENER.
YOUR DOG HAS RING WORM:BATHE HIM IN ANTI-FUNGAL SHAMPOO.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE:PUT HER IN REHAB.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWIN GIRLS,NOT YOURS:GET A LAWYER.
AND.....IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF,YOUR TENNIS ELBOW
WILL NEVER GET BETTER!!!