Posted by TerryS (24.24.79.72) on January 24, 2001 at 18:16:51:
A time comes in your life when you finally get
it...when, in the midst of all your fears and
insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough
fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And,
like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your
sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you
blink back your tears and begin to look at the world
through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change ... or for happiness, safety
and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that neither of
you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the
real world there isn't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter). You learn that any
guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with
you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect
and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They
are entitled to their own views and opinions. You
learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself...and in the process a sense of new-found
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people
for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you)
and you learn that the only thing you can really count
on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they
mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will
always be there for you and that it's not always about
you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take
care of yourself...and in the process a sense of
safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you
begin to accept people as they are and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties..and in the
process a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view
yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of
all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained
into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the junk you've been fed about how you should behave,
how you should look, how much you should weigh, what
you should wear, what you should do for a living, how
much money you should make, what you should drive, how
and where you should live, who you should marry, the
importance of having and raising children, and what
you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view.
You begin reassessing and redefining who you are
and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and
needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and
values you've outgrown, or should never have bought
into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to
go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we
receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating
and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build a life.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one
you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the
stake.
Then you learn about love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations
and outcomes.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your
feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring
your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are
perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want
things and to ask for the things you want ... and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to
be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and
respect and you won't settle for less.
You learn that your body really is your temple;
you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water,
and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear,
and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels
our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in
life what you believe you deserve...and that much of
life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen
is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to
achieve success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all
alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is
the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You
learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle
it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to
squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't
always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or
failing to answer your prayers. It's just life
happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most
primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger,
envy and resentment must be understood and redirected
or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison
the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to
build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in
many of the simple things we take for granted, things
that millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for
yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for
less than your heart's desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility.
Then, with courage in your heart and God by
your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to live as
best you can.
--Author unknown