Posted by August (208.161.103.136) on January 17, 2001 at 04:11:39:
In Reply to: Why is everyone dumping on Derek? posted by pinksharkmark on January 17, 2001 at 00:53:12:
if you decided not to post we would be lacking. You contribute more than you think.
The point about Derek is an opinion that not everyone needs to agree with. If you want to come here when you’re hurting, and leave when you’re not that's the person's perogative. I agree with Ted's take on it. It is like a long lost cousin that comes in asking for money or help, then once he gets it says hasta la vista, i'm out of here. Then he comes back again in another few years for more help. Of course we're going to give it to them, but aren't we allowed to express our thoughts about how that feels for some of us that don't get a break?
Another point, but not an excuse, but still something to keep in mind is that some of us come to the board and read a statement like that just after fighting another 10 and it's like a slap in the face.
What Ken pointed out was not hostile, and it wasn't even rude. It was an observation. Derek didn't take to it too well and replied back in a hostile manner. Then Paco pointed out his own opinion, that he personally didn't need Derek to hang around. I tend to agree with that right now. If a person doesn't want to be here when he's pain free, he really isn't going to help much. It's sort of like volunteer help under duress.
The other posts weren't even directed at Derek.
You know,Bob P isn't in cycle right now. What if he were to just leave and say adios guys, i'm out of here? He hasn't done that, he's put in a lot of work into OUCH for all of us. We've benefited greatly because of it. What if Bennie Sue were to pick up and leave because she was pain free? She gives out beautifully balanced advice and encouragement almost every day since i've been here. She puts in a lot of work for all of us. What if Riccardo wasn't here to threaten us with kisses? I mean promise us his kisses. If DJ was out of cycle, and he shut down the board because he didn't want to be reminded of cluster headaches during his pain free time, where would we be? There are a lot of people that haven't left while they are free of pain, and we as a whole benefit from it. If you want to be an island to yourself, and fight by yourself that's your choice. That isn't the way we are going to win this battle. It is a battle. It is to me.
So my point is completely lost now too.
I'm sleep deprived and hurting, and believe me, i'm no saint when i'm hurting and in this state, but i'm here because i love these people, and i'm trying. I'd love to have just one day, even a half a day free of pain. That is where I'm coming from when someone says bye and see you when i'm hurting again. If i were a better person i'd smile and say " so glad you could benefit from our hard work, see you in another two years." I'm sorry, i'm not that person yet. Maybe someday I will be that gracious and understanding