Posted by Ted (152.163.207.61) on December 29, 2000 at 13:16:05:
In Reply to: Help, Suicidal posted by jstone on December 29, 2000 at 03:26:39:
Joe, you are one of the strongest people on this planet. You have gone 20 years through this. BobP's picture site starts of with the words "Some of the bravest people I know." He is right. You are both strong and brave, despite what you think these thoughts you're having now make you. It's OK to have these thoughts and the fact that you are putting some seriousness to them doesn't make you weak or not brave. After all, you were still around to write your post to us. And you're still around (I hope) to read this response all these hours later.
You asked for prayers and thoughts? You have my prayers and here's my thoughts. You NEED to get through this cycle. Before this one started were you able to go out and enjoy yourself? Maybe with someone you love or even just alone? Could you laugh. Did you have that beautiful feeling of peace and serenity and the automatic sensation of "Man, it is good to be alive"? Sometimes we get lost in the mindset of looking ahead, which I think you may be doing now. We say "2-3 months more of excrutiating pain. I can't go that long." Well, you can't look at it like that. Sometimes you have to look at the moment instead of the future. Even in your cycle you will have millions of painfree times. When you're not hurting look at those moments. Hold on to those moments. Maybe a moment where the sun is setting and the sky is a vivid orange, red, purple and light blue. Maybe a moment where that feeling comes over you that always does when you have an epiphany of some sort and everything seems perfect. Or maybe a moment where you saw or heard something funny and it made you laugh and see everything is alright generally. At the risk of lots of hate mail, I gave you something to laugh at. :-) Just remember we're with you, brother.