Posted by lc bob on March 02, 1999 at 20:58:55:
for those of you who detest humor on this board ... read no further. Nancy's post gave me the idea for this. when i read her joke, i thought it was about a lady with CH. it reminded me of an old old headache joke that i've bastardized somewhat. Hope you can enjoy it.
There was this dude with CH.
He went to a GP. they studied him like a rat. tests, tests, tests. finally, the GP came to him with the results.
"Well, lc bob, we've found the cause of your CH! it appears that we'll have to remove your left testicle."
As we all know, NOTHING is too much to rid oneself of the demon. However, since this was ... well, his precious family gems, he had to think about it. for 1 second. "Do it!" he cried!
the operation went well. As with most things we find to abort CH, it worked (for a while!) no CH for 3 days!! Then the bastard returned (as he ALWAYS does!)
back to the hospital. the GP sent him to a neurologist. tests tests more tests. finally, the neuro came to him with the results.
"Well, lc bob, we made a slight mistake. the problem is indeed with your gonads, but we removed the wrong one! We have to amputate your right testicle."
2 seconds this time (after all, it was his last one!) ... "Do it!" he said.
again, the operation went well. he was released. 1 day, 2 days, 3 days ... a week ... no CH!!! he was predictably ecstatic ... so much so that he decided to celibrate with a new outfit.
he went to a tailor. had everything made ... pants, coat, shirt, shoes, socks ... then the tailor measured him for underwear.
"Hmmmm ... you take a size 6 buttpants", he declared.
"No way!" lc bob said. i've ALWAYS worn size 5!
the tailor measured again. and again. "Keeps coming up size 6", he said.
"Impossible" said lc bob ... "i want size 5 like always!"
"OK", the tailor replied. "But if you wear underwear that's too small, you get these awful headaches on one side of your head that start in your nose and make your eye water and your nose run and your ear hurt and make you want to rip your eye out and bang your head against a wall ..."
just couldn't resist ... too perfect! hope no one's offended. :D
pain freedom is a human right! (and it does NOT come from correctly-fitting underwear) ...
-lcbob