Posted by TerryS (24.24.79.72) on October 09, 2000 at 09:41:32:
THE AWAKENING
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst
of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin
to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and
begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over
the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming
or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale
endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of
serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and
that's OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in
the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to
you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can
really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they
say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not
always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in
the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as
they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties..and in
the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around
you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been
ingrained into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should
make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you
should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what
you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really
stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you
stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your
next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the
importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to
walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you
would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it
is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and
that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time
to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you
take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making
it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to
risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber
baron of all: FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know
that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to
give away the right to live life on your own terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under
a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you
think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting,
good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your
prayers.
It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must
be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of
walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and
you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever
settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the
wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay
open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a
stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want
to live as best you can.