>
> Date: Tuesday, September 05, 2000 9:00 PM
> Subject: FWD: FW: Southern Edition Windows 98
>
>
> >
> >
> >>>
> >>
> >> >>>>> Subject: Fwd: Southern Edition Windows 98
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Dear Consumers:
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> It has come to our attention that a few copiesof the WINDOWS 98
> >> >>>>> SOUTHERN EDITION may have inadvertently beenshipped outside
> >> >>>>> the South.
> >> >>>>> If you have one of these, you may need some helpunderstanding the
> >> >>>>> commands.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> The SOUTHERN EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening
> >> >>>>> screen. Itreads WINDERS 98 with a background art of Gen.
> >> >>>>> Robert E. Lee superimposedon a Confederate flag. It is shipped
> >> >>>>> with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Please also note:
> >> >>>>> The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
> >> >>>>> My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
> >> >>>>> Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
> >> >>>>> Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
> >> >>>>> Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
> >> >>>>> Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic disc thangs"
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Instead of an error message, a garbage bag and roll of
> >> >>>>> duct tape pops up.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION
> >> >>>>> OK: ats aw-right
> >> >>>>> Cancel: piss on it
> >> >>>>> Reset: try er agin
> >> >>>>> Yes: yep
> >> >>>>> No: noop
> >> >>>>> Find: hunt fer it
> >> >>>>> Go to: over yonder
> >> >>>>> Back: back yonder
> >> >>>>> Help: hep me out here
> >> >>>>> Stop: kwitit
> >> >>>>> Start: crank er up
> >> >>>>> Settings: sittins
> >> >>>>> Programs: stuff at duz stuff
> >> >>>>> Documents: stuff I done did
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not
> >> >>>>> recognize capital letters or
> >> >>>>> punctuation marks.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> PROGRAMS EXCLUSIVE TO WINDERS 98
> >> >>>>> tiperiter: A word processing program
> >> >>>>> colerin book: a graphics program
> >> >>>>> cyferin mersheen: calculator
> >> >>>>> outhouse paper: notepad
> >> >>>>> jupe-box: CD player
> >> >>>>> iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 4.0
> >> >>>>> pichers: A graphics viewer
> >> >>>>> irs: MS accounting software
> >> >>>>> irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files
> >> >>>>> tax records: Generally an empty file
> >> >>>>> coon dawg: American Kennel Club records
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> You'll also recognize WINDERS 98 SOUTHERN
> >> >>>>> EDITION as it comes reloaded
> >> >>>>> with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web:
> >> >>>>> Fish: Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
> >> >>>>> NRA: National Rifle Association
> >> >>>>> Shotgun: Remington Arms home page
> >> >>>>> Riffel: Winchester home page
> >> >>>>> Pisstul: Smith & Wesson home page
> >> >>>>> Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers by zip code
> >> >>>>> House: Mobile home repair services and movers by zip code
> >> >>>>> Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents
> >> >>>>> Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by zip code
> >> >>>>> Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule w/TV stations
> >> >>>>> carrying races
> >> >>>>> Car 'n Truck Repair: Junk yards by zip code
> >> >>>>> Doc: Veterinarians by zip code
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> We regret any inconvenience it may have caused
> >> >>>>> if you received a copyof the SOUTHERN EDITION.
> >> >>>>> You may return it to Microsoft for areplacement version.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> I hope this helps all of y'all.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Billy Bob Gates
> >> >>>>> Head Honcho
- A real learning programm, that was! annemarie 14:00:45 09/16/00
(0)
- Southern Edition Windows 98: Humour Mo 02:39:14 09/16/00
(0)
- Cute! =) nt Melissa 22:55:19 09/15/00
(0)