Convention trip story (no CH related) long text...sorry

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Posted by Riccardo (195.103.80.225) on August 21, 2000 at 07:55:24:

Here I am again! After my vacations I’m here to give to you my Convention story.
Intentionally I do not talk about Convention matter, but all the world around this poor paisan. Serious matter next time! And sorry for the length of this NOT useful story…..

Flight from Torino to Frankfurt then to San Francisco with UA (what a terrible food!) and…. NO SMOKING FLIGHT! …… OK I will smoke in SF Airport …NO!….SMOKING AREAs do NOT exist in SFO! OK! I exit the airport, and smoke a cigarette….seems me pot (due to the long abstinence ) …..return into the Airport to pick the Las Vegas flight like a drunk man…… arrive in Las Vegas.
Wednesday: 105F at 8 PM!!!! Take a taxi….. first language problem…I understand “lock the door” and I happily open the taxi door while he start the trip….at 40 miles per hour. He really said “lock the <>. OK! Big tip to avoid the taxi driver could think I’m the first suicide ARRIVING and not LEAVING Las Vegas……..
Safe arrive at the MonteCarlo, check-in and take a look at the room. Fine.
Ok something to eat and …..a little gambling-tour. I love roulette and hate slots but….. all roulettes were full, then I put some $$$ in the first slot I found…….TA TA TA TA TA……500$ Jackpot, and in 20 mins, other 300$. Wow, my day! . Try roulette…….lost 800$…… OK balance zero, went to bed!

Thursday: try to have lunch at McDonalds, ask for a Bigburger meal plus a cheeseburger: Waiter ask me something about cheeseburger –I did not understand a word, I said YES and he gives me 2 TWO complete meal: one bigburger with chips and coke, and one cheeseburger with chips and coke. OK! I started to increase the fat of my body……BURP!
At the table I trying to show me as a man that wait for another person…..that never arrive….
Time to try gambling again…..slots now become my unique option, and then I tried these……BA BANG 1000 $ Jackpot, and after 1 hour….. other 500$!!!!!! I excluded the second trip to the roulette, and take a tour in Vegas
Return to Hotel, and ask for the Bob Pahlow room…..at the check-in they said me that’s impossible to give the room number to any person, including paisans. OK Anyway I caught Bob later in the hall and smack, smack, kisses, kisses (only Sarah, obviously!).

Friday: join Kip, Bob, and later the big crowd of participants in the Hospitality Suite.
A bunch of drinks are in a refrigerator…and I was thirsty….I search for a coke and found a red can….I took it. I sat near the DJ girlfriend, and notice that she was drinking the same thing….OK is surely a COKE-like drink…..I open the can, drink…..BLEAH! disgusting, seems me a cough medicine……read the label: ….Dr PEPPER!!!!!! Asked DJ what the heck is that thing, and he answered me that’s a drink that exist in USA only for one consumer….. HIS GIRLFRIEND!! ….. OK I took note to subtract some bonus points from Mikal evaluation, and tried another drink.

*************************
First English understanding evaluation: I catch the 70% of the words that NewYorkers/Australians/Florida say, the 50% from Canadians, the 40% from California, the 20% from Texas (sorry Barbara D!) and YES and NO only from DJ!!!!!!!! (worse than Elaine…..) ….oh eeerr, sometimes I also have had difficulties to catch YES from DJ….:-)

Saturday: before Convention, take a trip to SLOTS……. Won 500$. Don’t know if due to Convention ‘air’ or the winnings but I understood all the matters discussed….
Dinner with the gang……bad start, ask for a Martini, after I have drunk it, the waitress ask me something about my cup (I caught: Sir want to take away the glass, or something like…..) NO! She asked for another Martini….. and gave me….. Blub….. a bit drunk…..and the waitress asked me again, I was more confused and said Yesssscccc again! Another Martini………completely drunk before dinner…

Sunday: lost Kip, and lost myself in little gifts for my family.

***********************
Second English evaluation.: I learnt the lesson! My spoken English is much better than my comprehension of English tongue (go figure !!!!!), then….I started to spoke English worse than I can, in this way they answer more clearly and slowly….
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….I try to buy a shirt for my daughter, asked for the right size for my 5 yo daughter…. And the clerk answered me ‘ these are for girls, not for puppies!) ….he understood ‘my 5 yo DOG’ …….OK, all done…. return to MonteCarlo, won the usual 500$ at Slots (never happened before in my whole life) and went to prepare my baggage.

Monday: start from Vegas to San Francisco, arrived there, and started to feel a stomach ache…… OK my anti-acid were in my baggage, I opened…..Opened….OPENED!!!!!! the baggage want not to open!!! F****ed case! After 10 minutes of trying, I was swelling, upset, red in face, with more stomach ache than before….and the baggage still close! A man of the security started to watch at me insistently…..then I asked a man near me to help me with my F****ed baggage….. OMG! he was Chinese, and did not understand a word of English …….other 10 minutes of hate on the damned baggage, then the security man came near me and asked “need help Sir?” ………oh, no! I got some problem to open this ##@#@##@@# baggage, sure, is mine, but now is all ok…..thanks”
Arrived in Frankfurt, opened the wallet searching for some german money, and throw in the trash a lot of little sheets of paper (flight coupons and other S**t)
Then arrived in Torino, and went to airport garage to take my car and return home……the parking ticket was lost…..lost??!? No, in the Frankfurt trash!!!!! Some formality to exit the parking WITHOUT the ticket….. some miles and here I am at home!!!!!
Ciao, kisses, ciao, and so on, then I said to my daughter: ‘I bring you a lot of things from Vegas!’ ‘ oh daddy, show me, show me!’
and I tried to open, to OPEN, TO OPEN!!!! my baggage….. nothing!!!!!
Other 10 mins of tries, and then (seeing my daughter near to cry, and my wife laughing) I said……OK if you B*****rd F***ed baggage don’t want to open I WILL CUT YOU!!
My daughter caught literally what I said, and give me a pair of scissors…….. eh! OK I didn’t say it literally, honey….smile smile ………. And tried again to open that @#@#@#@#@#@# NOTHING.. AAAAARGGHH, I took the scissors, and killed the back of my baggage, forced a screwdriver inside, and destroyed completely the THING!!!!!!
‘Here are the gifts for you, daughter……………..
------------------trip end……………

Kisses to you all, and sorry for the length and grammar errors…….
Your paisan Riccardo





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