Posted by Jack Boyd on February 03, 1999 at 08:17:19:
In Reply to: Re:Do we need our pain? well.......... posted by gary g on February 03, 1999 at 00:29:39:
I am not the least bit offended by anonymous and the posting about needing our pain and I think it serves as a good point for further discussion.
In the depths of a cluster attack I have had every thought imaginable:
1) that I somehow deserve this
2) that I am possessed
3) that if I had a personality that was a little more of this and maybe a little less of that....
I have also never been surpised or offended when others, including my own supportive family, imply that I get these cluster headaches because I can't handle stress, or I am too rigid, etc., etc.
The one thing I have truly learned in this game of clusters is that no one can understand another's pain. As painful as my clusters have been, I would never say that my pain is greater than another's.
Frankly, I hardly ever talk to others about my clusters and I don't need understanding. My coping mechanism has always been a practical one in that I have tried to minimize the number of attacks I have in public or around my family. My suffering has always been a very private affair and I intend to keep it that way.
When people react strongly to a posting such as the one by anonymous it is really a reaction to all of the non-believers they have encountered in their lives - the people who have said things like "What's the big deal, I get headaches too and I don't need to be medicated", "Have you tried bio-feedback?", etc., etc., - the kinds of reactions that tell us that this pain couldn't be real and it is somehow your reaction to this discomfort that is pathological.
I also thought that all of the postings, including mine, were rather mild and thoughtful reactions and that none were attacks on anonymous.
One last thought - the very first literature I saw on clusters was in about 1982 - this literature described the typical cluster sufferer as a "large, very masculine looking middle aged male accompanied by a very small deferential woman"....this medical article went on to describe the cluster sufferer as "although strong and masculine looking, a very weak individual unable to handle any kind of pain" - I am not making this up - this is what the some of the first medical literature had to say about us.
I am as nuerotic as the next person but my nueroses do not cause my headaches.
Peace!