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Posted by navygunner (38.31.224.50) on July 16, 2000 at 18:50:01:

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General Discussion Board

Who Wants a Raise?
Posted By: Brian in Oregon
Date: 7/15/00 20:07

Look who wants a raise!

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labor;
* I work at great depths;
* I am always using my head first;
* I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays;
* I work in a damp environment;
* I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties;
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation;
* I work in high temperatures; and
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Response from Human Resources:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight;
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods;
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team;
* You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit otherareas;
* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks;
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulatedin
order to start working;
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift;
* You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct
protective outfits;
* You don't like working double shifts;
* You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed
your work; and
* If that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leavingthe work place carrying two suspicious looking bags!

Messages in This Thread

Who Wants a Raise? -- Brian in Oregon -- 7/15/00 20:07

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